Insecure, Suspicious and Untrusting

A very successful executive opened up recently and said that because of his personal life experiences, he is very cautious, hesitant and not able to trust anyone. He feels insecure opening up with anyone so he suppresses his emotions and does not communicate freely with anyone. He was surprised at himself that he was sharing this with me in a coaching session.

Building trust is the basic step of the coaching relationship. In this case, this itself seems like an achievement to him.

He justifies his approach based on his life experiences right from his childhood. And he doesn’t see anything wrong with his attitude and doesn’t feel the need to change because he thinks it is the right approach to life to remain safe in this unpredictable world.

Everybody is right in their minds, otherwise, they would be what they are. Our thoughts create our reality.

I asked him how would he like his son to grow up like? Would he like him to be like him? He was not so sure. Your children pick up your internal state very well and that’s where they learn from, not from what you say or want.

Will he like to be like this for the rest of his life? He was still not sure but the cracks in the wall started to appear.

Identifying the change in you is not only a big step but almost half the journey. All that has to change is your mindset and your thoughts. Of course, habitual patterns will pose resistance but once you understand the need for change deep in your heart, you will make the rest of the journey.